"SWITCHING TO TUMBLR?"

WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?


SWITCH TO TUMBLR?

I THINK SO.

"Takes a pinch of concentration."

Okay, so I didn't go to school once again due to this effing sickness -,-"
I hate this flu virus that's going around, eff. Thank the Lord, I DO NOT have the swine flu.
But anyways, I drove all over the world today. So started off the day, took a shower, got dressed
and put on some make up to cover up all the sickness haha! Went to go get some Pho` for breakfast with
my dad, then drove to my mom's other work, then drove all the way to culver to bring mommy
some soup for lunch, then drove to the federal building by UCLA to get my passport which took almost
1 HOUR& 30 EFFING minutes ! But I learned something while I was there:

1) Security at these Federal Buildings are super scary
2) That A.D.D was hitting me so hard, sitting there
3) Your phone has to be OFF when your in the building
4) They process about 2000 passports DAILY !

I know that's insane. Anyways, afterwards we drove back to my moms other job, & I swear
parking is my biggest fail -_-" I hate it but driving my daddy's big truck doesnt make it easy haha.
So, we went home, and I pretty much was just irritated because some shit has been
on my mind -_- ugh!

I'll write moreeee when I get home.

xoxo,
ayobee&trade

"Pretty brown eyes."

"Dance in the rain."

Dance in the rain, that's what I wanna do.
Be able to wash away the tears, and hide any problems written all over my face.
Being sick totally sucks, and being sick with a lot on your mind is hell.
Halloween this year was "chill" wasn't feelin it this year just
another day outta the month of October and meaning that November is finally here.
A new month, a busy month that is. Leaving for Germany in less than 3 weeks, senior retreat next
week. Holy moly, the year is coming to an end& the season of Christmas is around the corner.
So I'm hoping& praying that this Christmas will be one to remember, a Christmas spent
with a lover,friends,&definitely family. Speeding into 2010 indeed.

POSITIVITY, it's been something I'm still working on.
I hate having too think so hard on things and make something so small something so big. But,hey it's
who I am, and I want a CHANGE. Not a minor one, a big one. I wanna get away
from here, I wanna start over I wanna erase all the bad memories and start fresh with new ones.
On the positive note, I get to take my license test soon! Yes, I can finally drive to places
I wanna be at, and see people I wanna see finally<3 Well, I'll end this with a quote:


"I wanna prove them wrong, but I gotta know you're right."


xoxo,
ayobee™

"Happy Halloweeen."

Happy hallooween,snitches&hoes.
This is years a tad bit different, hollywood forever tonight :]
Be safeeeee and stuff your faces with candy for me.



xoxo, ayobee™

"Bleh."

Today is just not my day, the end.


xoxo,ayobee™

"The exception."

It's kind of funny when you find yourself caught in contradiction.
It's kind of cute when you realize that someone's the exception and not the "rule."
It's kind of crazy how life works, it throws anything at you regardless if your ready for it or not.


A lot has hit me, people made me realize, i see the real lies &
the difference between looking in
a pair of real eyes.


Paranormal Activity @ the Arclight at 12,
5 showings ALL SOLD OUT!
I'm so scared, I'm sitting next to
some strangers oh man, fuckin' reserved seating grrr!
Well, I just thought
I should blog before I went to go watch it. So wish me luck that I don't shit in my pants! haha.





xoxo,

ayobee™

"Truth is."

"Truth is.. everyone's gonna hurt you,

you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
-- Bob Marley

& I believe that Bob Marley was in good thinking when he said this.

Life is starting to finally teach me a lot of things, and I kinda like this feeling ha(=

I know who's meant to stay, I know who's suppose to leave and

like I've been telling people, my philosophy this year is:

" I'm not here to make friends, or get closer to people or fight for the unnecessary

things ,I've had 4 years to do that, and good vibes is the only

thing necessary and school is my main focus. & for the rest of you, get the $%@! out.

other than that, driving my daddys big truck is pretty fun haha! I feel like a small

person in a giants car or somethang, buts its chill tho' (x and i love my bestfriend,

i really hope she finds her way<3

xoxo,

ayobee™

"Full Moons"

To sum up everything it went like this:

+Morning run @ Marina Del Rey
+ Pick up mom & head back home
+ Got ready, J picked me up & Headed to cuzzo's.
+Guppies, M came& we finally met(:
+Regulated on some little girls,ha!
+Saw some homies& a lot of "xnaaays" *insider
+Went to this whack ass party w| a ugly ass stripper
+Back to guppies, timothydeLAghetto stopped by.
+Headed to torrance party, BURNT & just kicked it infront.
+Said, goodbyes & headed home.

Let me just end this short,
I hate liars,keep it real.

xoxo, ayobee™

" A little bit of contradiction"

Damn, So schools a bit overwhelming and definitely things have changed.

I got through the first week of school, and yes I am finally a senior! Class of Dimes, Wsuh ;D
But a lot of things have been running around my mind and I feel the need to blog about it.
School has been great on the most part, having classes with people I normally don't have classes with,
new teachers, and I feel I have finally found my independence.&I bet your asking yourself
how I found this so called "independence" and don't worry I'll tell you guys why.

So, all past 3 years of highschool has been centered around doing what I thought I should be doing,
telling people this is what they should do; etc. I felt that I needed certain people around to know that I
was safe, somewhat like a safety blanket in a sense. But this year, is my year. Nobody else's, just m-i-n-e.
College is a couple months away and let me tell you how anxious, excited, nervous I am. But this year
everything I do can determine what and which college I go to. I know this year everybody expects for it to be
a "chill year", the end of a new beginning. but for me, it's the beginning of a new path.I chose to do
classes I never got to experience like journalism, photo, & once again theatre. But honestly, the class I have no
idea of how I got into was, Pre Cal Honors which I absolutely feel I don't belong in. But I'm not gonna
drop it because I feel like this is where I should've of been since freshman year. I guess in many senses I lessened
my expectations for myself the past 3 years and I guess it's like they say, "better late, than never." I'm gonna
do me this year, gonna focus on school and my future goals, a boy isn't going to complete me,& I think
I've finally realized that today.

I've been growing up thinking I needed someone to make me happy, someone who could fulfill the needs I have,
and the wants. But I guess I have all my life to worry about everyone else, and sometimes we need to be selfish
and my time is now. I'm not saying that I'd push anyone that can come close to my heart but maybe I should actually
get to know somebody, and I don't mean after a couple weeks or days, I mean actually fall for somebody after a legitamate time period. The contradictions never end, and I've noticed that contradictions are always around for example, talking to my cousin amber about why we want a boyfriend and how were ready to settle down, this and
that;etc.& when someone is finally around we start to realize that youre better off single that theres always an issue why you can't be with that person who is everything you've always wanted. I know in our lifetime we've all been through situations where you felt that it wasn't what you really wanted and we find any excuse to make ourselves feel better but lately, I feel that there are no more excuses to make up and I really want to find out the answers to those questions.

To why our hearts push away the ones that you need, and why our minds tell us that our wants are greater.
Now think about it, is our wants > our needs? Contradictions, contradictions. It's overwhelming thinking
about it don't you agree? Well, changing topics I recently watched a couple of dvds that made me think a lot as well. "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."& "Slumdog Millionaire"



Both these movies made me realized that love doesn't come around the corner if you chase it,Love can

come from everywhere, and when it's ready to happen it will happen. & Maybe like I've been believing God

wants me to do something for myself for once and he wants me to learn before I know all the answers.& When the

time comes the answers will all be laid out,perfectly for me to understand. Life is way too short to dwell on

our dreams and hopes, we are all living in reality and instead of dwelling on them we should make them happen.I hope this year will bring me the virtue of patience. I'm going to end this blog with a quote from the movie,

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button":

..."For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit,

stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or

the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you

never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find

that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

xoxo,
Ayobee™

"Shes looking for forever but Im looking for a goodtime."

Okay,so from the last time I blogged it was sort of a downer.
&to update you guys about whats been going on, everything is pretty well.
So, I've pretty much decided to live by the quote below and

"MOVE FORWARD,NO REGRETS."

&Definitely, there are NO regrets. I believe that everything happens for a reason
and I've came to realize that I got to do things
on my own to get what I want. I'm doing
this year different,
senior year wsup? School is almost a couple of days away, &
I think I'm ready to keep moving forward. Well,
I bet your wondering why my blog title is what it is and let me tell you what it means.
So have you ever met someone
that's looking for forever? someone that believes at this young age of ours that were
going to get married?
Someone that wants to tie you down for life and expects to live with you and alla that crap? Well,
lets say from what
I heard it aint a good path to get on. Honestly, at this age forever isn't really forever. I think we
should just enjoy the
time we have here, and enjoy every person that comes into our lives but never waste any
time on the unnecessary situations we face, yaaaadigggggg? But anywaysssss..My summmer,
damn let me tell you it was m&mazing and...I think

I ended my summer just perfectly<3

..meeting that jerkFACE ;D
learning how to drive a stick, hahaha! having dinner @ cheesecake with cousin& the two fagnuts ha! & walking
up that long assss hill to the observatory haha omgaaahd, workout much? haha!overall a grrr-eat night,definitely(:
well, anywaysssss.vegas in a day with the cousin, jamesys,&kevin haaaa! super excited!

"what happens in vega$$$ stays in vega$$$"

I met a lot of obstacles this summer and I learned a lot and I'm excited for what this new year of 2010 is going
to bring me. But like everyday, I'll keep my head up high and smile because a smile goes a long way and whatever I face I know that I have God right behind me<3Oh ! & that reminds me, I really need to go to church becos' I havent gone in a long while -_- I know right ? But I mean, I pray eeveryday so I guess that counts too right?
Well, I'll update this when I get back from vegas.

xoxo,

Ayobee™

"Welcome to Rockbottom."

It's hard to go by everyday trying to prove a point.
It's hard thinking that you have so much to offer but you haven't been appreciated.
It's hard knowing that life doesn't always give you lemons, but gives you a pitcher with nothing inside.
Life, is hard, and noone said it would be easy and right now I've reached the lowest of lowes.
God, I need you<3
and I know it's cliche to think that I'll be down in the dumps forever but sh*t, why can't
my parents understand me? Seriously, I feel like I try to say connected with them, and I tell them
alot more than I should. But yet, it's never enough is it? I've never felt this hurt by the
words my dad has told me and mos'def I can't really have any sympathy for what he's going through
since he is taking it out on me which is unfair. To hear them say, "..how can you be
the savior of the family if your not even thinking, you don't appreciate us, you need to stop running away
from your problems, it's like on repeat in my head and each time tears fall down my
cheek. It hurts. To the depths of my soul, and on top of that, my heart feels the need to just
take a vacation once again, and sh/t I feel so stupid. I need to learn, i really do because disappointment
is NOT an option. I'm going to do whatever is necessary to make it through life,and with or without
my parents by my side, IDGAF. I know maybe I'm just angry and sad that I'm writing this
but because of ones failures, I'm the one that has to put up with the after effect and it;s not fair at ALL.
Life is life, and like Mark says, you really have no say as a minor. I'm counting the months til
i'm fucking 18, cos' the day I do I'll know that my voice actually really matters but it's kind of funny
how the media encourages us to "Raise Our Voice" when really does our voice matter?


xoxo,
Ayobee™

"Jail-Break"

ha! So i bet your wondering why I haven;t updated my blog in about a week or
so and your wondering why the title of this blog is "Jail-Break". Well,
to answer I've pretty much been grounded kinda? So you know' usually your parents
ground you and take away your things but guess what? My brother did -__-"
JERK, i know right? Well, he's not sucha great hider cos' I just found my laptop
that he's been hiding for about a week. I mean I let it go, but shit. I'm going insane without
my laptop. I mean hey, being home all day and shit gets boring so the least I could have
it my laptop right ? lol.

Well let me give you guys a sort of shortened version of what happened.
Lets just say I got home reaally reaally really late from this party, cousins didn't have a ride
and yeah big problem. But on the brighter side, I finished one of my novels for school called
The heart of the Matter by Graham Greene, it was pretty good actually but I have one more novel
to read as well -__- A tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens BORING MUCH? I read one chapter and got
bored already sheet. Schools coming around the corner again and I'm pretty excited for SENIOR YEAR, class
of dimes babyyy ;D but I'm pretty scared too :[ Being a "planner" and having everything organized
sucks because if things don't go the way I want i get SUPER STRESSED and let me tell you it
SUCKS BUTT, BIGTIME! Kay, well anyways I also wrote a new piece I wanted to type
up here I decided to title it, "CHIVALRY, DEAD OR ALIVE?":

Her eyelids lifted by the pictures painted with her brain

She thinks to herself, "is this what I had came to see?" A man set to confuse my mentality?

With words and the charm, when he'd tell her he'll do no harm to hurt her,

her heart has taken in so much pain that less tension could constrict the same pain that he, the last lame inflicted

with his so called "GAME" pssh, that boy's lame.

Yeah I say that niggas should grow up and quit following that console, and use the hands& the heart with his own soul, if he has one.

Ha,i Iaugh in the corner thinking to myself that this girl let herself be defeated, when she had been
misleaded by the fellas who approach her.

Oh yeah, they had different styles but the same old lies and there she sat with the tears falling down from her eyes.

She has been deceived, her heart begins to bleed, bleeding out the love she thought she had felt, what she had known.

So, I think maybe she was blown? Ha, naw I play but they the ones who cause this shame to the opposite gender whom we should love all the same should be dissappointed.

That they have not done their duty but surely, they all have fooled me,truly men are all the same from what I see.

Because to she, none have proved to be worthy. and have not acknowledged the rite to chivalry which I believe is not diseased but talk is cheap so you so called men out there

step up and take a seat and watch the good guy's ponder on their critique.

xoxo,

Ayobee™

"American Idol Season 9"

Damn, so the journey begins today.
Waking up at 4 am; sleeping at 12 gives me about a 4 hour sleep? I'm surprised myself
I woke up at 4 without anyone waking me up. Usually I'm like a rock!
But, let me tell you waking up super early was worth it!
So I got ready, put my makeup on but I didn't wear anything too flashy today
since it was only registration of course. But damn, I arrived at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena
at 5 o'clock am & there was probably over 1000 people there already -_-
& Everyone around me, talented,beautiful, and each individual held the same
dream of becoming, Americas next "American Idol."
So, as I waited in line the anticipation to get to the front to register my name
and get my tickets for my seat number started to become very heavy on my chest.
Seeing the cameras run through the lines, I rushed to get there :] but on the negative side
being short sucks, when a bunch of people crowd over you grrr tall people! haha
But anyways, the experience is overwhelming and I can't wait until tuesday =D
But to break down how "American Idol" really works, talent is a MUST but if you aint got
the so called look their looking for then their not even going to waste their time on you.
Well, after registration me and my dad busted a mission to culver city kaiser on the bus
pretty crazy and adventurous I must say ;D well, thats all for today. Keeeep you guys posted!





xoxo, ayobee™

"Training day."

Damn, so today was hell ! well actually it was pretty cool.
Dad woke me up at 7 o'clock, I wasn't planning on going running
cos I was too sleepy but he gave me this "guilty story"shit.
So, anyways. Dropped off my bros gf at school, then we were on our way
to the culver city side to go run by the beach in marina del rey!
Man, lemme tell you. That was a effing workout. Pretty much ran from 8-11?
&Running on the sand and doing situps too? Oh boyeee,
so wsup personal trainer -_-" not really dad anymore shittttt.
& after we pickedup mommy at Culver City Kaiser, and headed for lunch at the farmers
market at the grove& mos def; that brazilian food was pretty bombsters.
Overall,It was coool and very produktive day.So I took some photos from my phone of my day. So enjoy(:

"Cargasms"

Fuck me right now in an Audi!♥ ;)
Have you guys seen the new 2010 Audi TT RS!?


+ 2.5-liter turbocharged five-cylinder puts out
+ 340 horsepower and 332 lb-ft torque running through a
+ six-speed manual transmission
+ Audi's quattro all-wheel drive system


Last but not least; the sexy ass Volkswagon GTI-R ♥

SEX ME HARD,
inthosefuckingcars;)

"The sweetest disguise"

"The Sweetest Disguise"
-- Written on May 5th, 2009.


As I wander off into a place where my fears and secrets ly
I find a boy who holds the key to my sweetest disguise.

The captivation of his beauty reflected in the visions of my eyes.

A ruler could not seek a length of its precision, he seeks for
the beauty that goes beyond my thighs.

Patiently as I wait, grasping at his lips.
I find a good distance of time between the placement of my hips.

An afrodisiac blossoming in the midst,
a mentality living off temptation and self bliss.

Slowly as his hands fall onto my waist.
I taste, the great sin of temptation circling around my face.

She starts to fall forward, ready for the catch.
Now she begins to lack what she believed was true.

But the things you,do easily fallen, easy to do.
The barrier is broken, the mask is thrown on the floor.

The devil knocks so silently waiting at the door.
She opens it slowly, the door to his sweetest desire.

Now the fire is lit, now her innocence is gone.
But she was different, she always sang the same song.

The joke was on you, she was always so true.
But she thought it was time to prove you wrong.

She altered her ego, to the girl who wants to break free.
But is this she? what she wanted to be?

Or is this sweet angel, who was sent to thee,
her purpose was to teach a man it's more than

the simple wants or his needs.


xoxo,

ayobee™

"BURNING BRIDGES."

FAMILY FIRST,
family seems like the only people that won't do you wrong.

So, tell me what you do when you just can't
take it? When you put up with something for the longest& finally just had enough.
Sometimes, its for the better or maybe for the worst?
Burning bridges is the worst thing to do, my dad tells me that all the time.
But I guess I had too, and I know it'll be better somewhere in time.


Friends are suppose to be honest,respectful,& trustworthy right?
Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I thought.
It's silly to think that the people closest to you have the most flaws
but you cant really see em till when worst comes to worst.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I really do but when they bring out the worst in you
what do you do then?

Lemme just say this,
I never meant to end a friendship but it was kind of the last thing I had to do.
My birthday is coming up and it's going to be akward to not have you around. But I can't
have someone in my life that can't appreciate me and isn't able to give me the same type of friendship
I have to offer. I hope you realize everything I told you& maybe in time you'll actually
understand me.

xoxo,

AYOBEE™

P.S 2 MORE DAYS TIL MY BEEDAY(:

"FOOD FOR THOUGHT."

pickles + cheese = Y-U-M.

i swear, its good. try it. & i know

p.s Tim will hate this but oh well (:

"Goodgirl gone bad."

Damn, its been a while since I last updated my blogspot.

But since its sunday morning & i have nothing better to do I shall update(:

This weekend was a pretty burnt weekend, nothing happened. Well, sorta? Lol.
Friday, I watched angels&demons it was a pretty good movie; i'd probably give it like 4 stars? or 3.5 ?
I kinda expected more of it I guess. But anyways, that's all that really happened on friday.

Saturday was pretty fun, I was actually mad at first cos' I tried making plans with people
but they all were "unsure" which is like, a petpeeve cos' im like super organized. Like I hate when
people make plans with you, and telll you, "oh, yeah I'll hit you up if anything" which is code for, "yeah i would
go out with her but I got better plans to make." jerks ! & I looked prettty cute saturday too :(
whatevers though, I had musical rehersals from 11-3 :( which
was poopoo; & shit ! the musical is on friday already ! fuck you can watch me fuck up. Lols !

I just wanna get it over with, and then i'll be stress free ! & THEN ! BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN !
So, me & alyssababehs ate at panda and we spent like 2 hours there talking and playing this drinking game;
.."Ive never ____." its kinda like 10 fingers& if you dont know what that is; GOOGLE IT!
anyways, then after it was so embarassing ! cos like, there was this group of guys posted lookin & shit
and so me& my homegirl was waiting for our ride; & her grandmama rolls up in her little minivan & fuck those guys
must've been like .."ewww" haha i need me a fucking car realtalk tho! I'll be liscensed in AUGUST! So for now,
I'm stuck with getting rides by homies;&fammily. sheeet. & then we chilled at her house and watched
Titanic(: haha; super homo i know. LOL! and she pretty much catered to my needs:
1. made me popcorn
2. got me ice cream
3. got me some shorts to borrow
4.got me water&made me iced tea
5. OH ! and spongebob fruit snacks ;D yum!

SATURDAY NIGHT =
wowowowowee. hahaha! timmmmothyyy knowwws wsup!

"LIVE IN THE MOMENT."
the goodgirl, has now gone bad as of last night.






P.s i fucking want a sprinkles cupcake like right now

xoxo,bitches. ayobee™

.."Spring break"

So, lets see springbreak started
last friday April 10th, & so far its been a good start.
Todays monday = ew. Didnt do much today except
sleep in til like 11 ish? Got ready for my doctors appointment.
So, these chest pains have been killa ! sick with it.
the dr. said i dont have any heart problems thank god but
I did get a chest exray as well so I still have to wait on
the results so *bites lip i hope everything will be okay.
The doctor kept askin' have you been stressed? because apparently
I have a pulse of 132 over 85 which is waaaaay too high
for a girl my age so ideekay :( blaah.
so, im not really excited for the rest of the week cos
i dont even know what I'm going to be doing.
I just really wanna get over this month, thats all.

"VENTING"

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.
that's all i really can say at this point. honestly,if he fucking
knew. I guess this is my only venting place since everyone's sleeping already
and I'm up at 12:42 on March 23,2009. because why? cos' i cant fucking sleeeep, I mean
it's nothing new. It's my daily routine, waking up barely getting by the day by
telling myself,"smile,girl smile."then sleeping so late. Ugh, I'm telling myself to hang in there
and trying to tell myself, that I'm strong& nothing or nobody
could ever erase my happiness. I mean f/ck everytime, I'm doing so damn well
being single and crap. Some fool, comes into my life and makes me believe that their different.
I mean don't get me wrong, he is different.
I mean, even though he's such an asshole to me most of the time& he's only
sweet when he's barely falling asleep on me and when he ticks me off cos he puts me on hold every 5 seconds
theres still that something about him that I just can't seem to shake off. Like that little face he does, when like
he smiles all big and he looks like a little boy and in my head i'm thinking
pfft, dont give me that fucking "oh im so nice&cute" face.
I mean even though I'm so complicated, and I got a bag filled with
insecurities, apparently he's still here. and when I tell him that I'm scared
cos' of my past relationships, he tells me I shouldnt be.
But with all of that goodness, I'm still here hoping,wishing, that he'd just put more
ACTION vs. WORDS you know like, "more than words". I mean in
relationships, I don't ask for much I don't get mad easily unless
it's for a legit reason,trust? Fuck, I trust you. I mean if you
do me wrong, then thats not my problem
cos stupid ass bullsh/t won't phase me.shit.
All i really wanted was to be happy, and finally find a guy that knows
how to keep me happy, & knows that the only thing I ever wanted from him was
to see that he cared for me, and that I wasn't wasting any of my time.
I wish he knew what I felt, I mean I wish I could feel more of how he felt about me.
that's the funny thing about relationships, we get into one with full knowledge of
a chance of getting hurt,& yet we never really know but yet we still do it and then later on regret it.
aaaah, it's driving me insane. I don't wanna cry and I don't wanna be sad
I really don't. I'm hanging on only because I know that's what life is about, taking risks.
I guess he's the risk im willing to take and I'm hoping that he see's
that I aint the type of girl thats gonna give up & if he's willing to hurt me
then mos def that'll be the biggest mistake&loss he's ever made.


xoxo,

ayobee™

"..Sweet&Sour"

Yay, Another blogspot update guys(:
So, lets update you with my wonderful date with boo last night.

+Yanyans pad
+45 Minutes in the jack in the box parking lot
+Observatory, saw the moon(:
+Kissssses?
+Angeles Crest
+Missssed Calls/Voicemails
+He met my daddy

let's say, that this time I'm the challenge as he says.& I'm complicated but
he's still willing and I'm
making new memories now, and slowly letting go
of that past of mine because i know its the best thing to do. &we got this connection though,
and something inside me wants me to keep going with this.
I wanna like you the right way honey, and I really hope that you prove me wrong.
He's silly, and he thinks he's all cute, and hes a little asshole to me,
but I miss alla that already.& I'm wearing your sweater while I type this even tho' the
hoodie you were suppose to give me, you left on your bed -___-

----------------------------------------

Oh, & I love how people like to talk about me
and say I'm dirty when they don't even know me.
Oh and when you think one of your "homeboys" got your
back,and you find out hes only saying bad things
about you that aren't true.FUCKING SHADY BITCH.

nothings gonna stop this.
so don't even try to mess things up.
------------------------------------

Okay, so Imeeeeeee boo :[<3>

"Suspended"

Okay, so let me tell you how effing heated and embarassed I am.
So the start of my day was cool, I woke up early since I had to be at school
by 7 for this dumb ass "mandatory" field trip to this 4 hour ride place.
And my effing vice principle, fucking see's the bandaid on my piercing & tells me
oh, you can't have any studs or piercings on your face and I tell her,
well I already tried taking it off and I'm not going to see the piecer til
saturday. She goes well you can't be allowed on that bus til you
take that off. then she makes me call my mom and shit and im like okay?
And infront of all the faculty she's all prancing around like shes the principle.
and she calls the principle, and tells her "I DONT WANT HER GOING" on the bus, and its
like the principle listens to her every desire, i effing swear.

Then she's like well your going to be suspended for two days til you take that
piercing off, and you get O credit on the field trip and you are unexcused.
Fucking dumbass bitchshit, then she goes " I dont care if you bleed that was a poor decesion you made"
and do you know colleges will look at the "2 day suspension" blah blah bull shit
but knowing me, I held all my anger back and didn't say shit. So now I'm
wishing that I couldve said," My parents do not fucking pay 6000-9000 dollars eevery year
for me to get treated disrespectfully. There are so many other students in my school that
have piercing, and shit its like wtf? theyre gona suspend the whole school?
Tell me this, you think some stupid piercing is gona effect my future?
Shit, ima laugh in her mother fucking face when I get into USF and tell her I graduated wit a fucking
dentistry degree, fuck that bitch forreal man.

I had a goodasss night and this wholesituation killed my day.
fuck this shit.realtalk. Im outtie.

xoxo,

ayobee™

.."Scandalous"

Yo, whatsup(=

damn I havent updated this ish, ina minute.
I've been super busy with school & shit. But anyways let
me update with you a little bit.
So I got my grades for school,& damn hella proud of myself
but i couldve done a little tad better.
I tried out for my spring musical of "Back to 80s"& Im hoping I get
a big role or something.
I'm trying get more active in participating at school.
So you know whats funny though?! Tic-tac-toe is.& You know why?
Becoz me, my wife joy&yanyans like gambling when we play tictactoe roflmao!
How lame right? Well, shit its a start. aha! & Its a new way to pass the time
in class roflmao funny stuff ! Were trynna upgrade soon
though with playing poker and shit aha!

Anyways, I'm having my girlfriend bonding day tmrw =] and were going
to watch "FU" the movie lmao. No not literally f u.
Aha, I ate alot today ! Oh did I tell you guys that I finally
passed my effing permit test?! Holy shit. -6 and I could get -8 wrong
so I'm super lucky ! I was shitting balls, I had a big ass headache and everything.
Well It's all good now =]

Have you heard, Lupe's new track? Birds and the bees?
Damn honey, my baby doin it. I love that song forreal tho' Ive been
missing you baby sheeet! I want his whole album to come out
& Mos def i'd buy it even though now a days people just
download it offa limewire and shit. aha!

I ♥ LUPE!

So like, girls are scandalous especially me&my girls.
Its fun though, makes life interesting (=
but some girls just dont know how to f/ckin be slick about it ahaa silly girl ! So I'm excited for first period tmrw though
cos' me&my girls get to talk about it. It's like history like gossip class roflmao!
oh and eating too ! cos we hide all this food in the closet and shxt!
lmaooooo ! ahahaha but I got caught, the dean caught me :[ so me+yanyans+joy have
double detentionss?

"Sunday Mornings"

&I just woke up, and I've never felt so tired.
I finally got to sleep more than 5 hours thank god!
Usually my brother, f/cks around with me and puts my dog on my
bed to wake me up but not today, so I'm pretty happy.

But yet, I feel that something is missing.
I mean, I'm happy right? Like, I'm fine just going out with my girls
and just doing me right? I think so. But then again, I think its one of those days
where I wish guys would just grow the f/ck up and start
treating the "good girls" better than they should.
I'm so irritated to the fact that slutty ass girls, and non- deserving girls
always get boyfriends. I guess its kind of true when they say
" the good guys, finish last." Hmm. Idk but whatevers!
Yesterday was fun..
but it had its ups & downs.

dear o9' send me a love, that'll do me right.
its 1 day til the 26th of january :/, the day that
changed my life foralways & I'm hoping for a phone call
from you. ilykrcn<3>

oh! & i got to finally see my cousin ambereezy, after
x38473208473493824732 days. I missed her so muchos
even tho' we only got to see one another for a quick minutee:(

"Inspiration takes the lead"

Hello blogspot viewers,
okay so since my last blog wasn't really detailed i'll fill you in
with some new events that are currently happening in my life. So today til thursday = HELL WEEK!
& you know why? Becoz stupid finals :(( it sucks pookie. But anyways, once its over
I'm definitely heading out, and not staying home over my semester break.

Pwuaha, Oh and did I tell you that I'm finally going to take my permit
test after sofaking long? yep, finally(:&maybe I'll be able to meet some decent new friends
if you know what I mean ;) ha! okay anyways, I'm currently working on this song
which I have not titled yet, so here it goes:

Untitled©

verse 1:
By the look in your eyes, it seems that you might ,be my type,

Mr. right. I'm

Chasing for perfection, so tonight, I might take a chance with cupid ,don't wanna look stupid.

It would be my mistake to lose this great, op-pur-tun-ni-ty
I-I wannna call you my des-ti--ny

Soo,You and I should enjoy this time
that were together.

Because this might be ,this might be. The start, of f o r e v e r

chorus:
So let's take a chance with cupid,
let's fall in love tonight.
Put me in a trance my baby
Slowly, just set our hearts free.
Yes, we could be, just be, you&me.

verse two:
Time,time,time we got plenty of time,so relax, unwind

to the melody,of our bodies entwined

Take the time to ease my mind.

I'll surely but slowly make me worthy, of your loving honey.

but first you have to promise that you'll stay a little bit,
longer.

Chorus


verse 3:
Now that tonight, is coming to a close

I think it's time to let our emotions flow, naturally.

No worries on my brain, I've never felt this way

before, boy.

Floating across the skies, it seems theres only sunshine.

Close your eyes, hold me close.

chorus


xoxo,

ayobee™

.."Just too good to be true."

Well I wrote you a song, on a napkin today
It didn't take me that long already knew what to say.
But it would've clearly been wrong cause it begged you to stay.
So I threw it away, threw it away.
Because,

Even though I like to keep you mine,
My plan is not to change your mind
I lock the feelings deep inside,
For another time, For another time,


Don't get me twisted
Cause I admire everything that you're doing
You have my best wishes
And, and I know that you're gonna get through it
So girl if this is something that you're needing,
To those feelings be true,
You can only love me, As much as you love you
But girl I know you know that it's the truth, yeah.

Even though I like to keep you mine,
My plan is not to change your mind
I lock the feelings deep inside,
For another time, For another time,


I'm suppressing my fight
Cause I know that you're right
Girl you gotta do what you gotta do
So you could be a better you
I put my questions on hold
And even though I feel cold
I'll be bold for you
And trust that I know My Plan

Yeah, Don't you change your mind for me, Baby yeah
Even though I like to keep you mine,
My plan is not to change your mind
Don't Change your mind.

"..Almost close to perfect"

2009, yes your doing me very well already.
& let me tell you, that yesterday January 9th, 2009 was the best
date I've ever had. In short lemme tell you:

+ Surprises in his glove compartment = my favorite cookies&cream chocolate bar
+ Looking at the City lights at the Griffith park Observatory
+ Americana at brand adventure
+ The Unborn at 7:20, where his ass was super scared haha.
+My place = tokyo drift & lying on my couch
& to top it all off my first kiss of 2009♥

I'm glad I met you J.V.E and mos def I love our friendship
& I'm ready to see where this may lead.
Your special&I'm keeping you.haha!

2 WEEK CURSE?

N-O-T GOING TO HAPPEN!
--------------------------
On the other note, I wanna thank all my ladies for being there
for me yesterday, even if they were ALL a little bit embarassing. Like as if I was the little baby
of the family & they were so anxious for me. Haha But I mos def love ya'll to death♥

---------------------------------

As I see myself, open up to a fresh start. I can say that I am proud of myself,
I'm ready to face all the obstacles of this year and that's one thing I didn't leave in 2008,
is my s t r e n g t h to overcome hardships.
I'm practicing on being more positive, like I said is my new years resolution.
So, I'm taking in all the negativity and thinking of it as a sort of PUSH or REASON to keep moving
forward to prove to EVERYONE that NOBODY can ruin my year, this year.

--------------------------------------
JOSEF MICHAEL SIBAYAN SANTOS

Its been a while homeboy& you wanted me to add you to my blog
for today and so I am(:♥ and yes I missed you very muchos. I guess that sometimes
you never forget about certain friendships we should really chill soon! I mean we never even
really got to chill before and hmm, I've known you for like how many years? Lols, Its crazy!
Well,I hope you like my little spot for you in my blog. Love you nigga!

xoxo, bitches.

ayobeeTM