.."Brown Eyed Blues"

"Patience is the key"

Goodbye 2008. I can't wait for 2009
This year, do me well & please show me what
LOVE really means<3

dfc, one day.
Git drunk bitches, & party fucking hard becoz' when
you wake up its a new year(:

main reso :

THINK POSITIVE!

xoxo,

ayobee

.."My late night sweet love<3"

11 to 3 o'clock

late night mission busting

angeles crest

D A M N,

thats all I have I have to say<3



xoxo,


ayobee

.."The day after Christmas"

Hope everyone Had a very fantastic Christmas day & Eve. Mos def, I did(:
I mean, sure I wish I was

with all the relatives opening gifts at 12 with all the cousins and having the uncles crack jokes,

while all the aunts in the corner saying how grown up you got & your "so pretty now"
blah blah.

But my chrismas eve, was filled with a good dinner/ church at the
Los angeles Cathedral of the Angels& opening gifts upstairs.
This year, wasn't that much exciting,not many gifts, but I'm glad it was still
m i n e<3 Gifts consisted of ; The tmobile G1(:
My parents paid off the driving school so I can get my permit finally that GOD!
Oh and did I tell you, a ticket to New york City for the end of January? ;]
Mos def, I miss the city. Its been a while since Ive been there and this time, I got more things
on my plate to do now that I'm all grown up. Clubbing in the City? Why hello there, cute city boys! ;]
Alryte,alryte. I ended this 2008, very well I must say.
Deleting 1900 off my myspace friends, not talking/dating anyone for about 1 month now(:
& hey! thats really good, knowing myself. haha, yup!
New start, for 2009 and I'm doing this year right mos def :)

Last night, I watched V a l k y r i e & let me tell you thats the most people
I've ever seen in the movie theatre EVER ! I never realized that the movies was
the only thing open on Christmas day. How crazy! But I was pretty disappointed, I mean sure
the movie had an interesting plot and what not, but in all honesty there was NOT enough VIOLENCE!
Yeah, I know Im a girl, and Im into movies like these. But dang, more blood needed especially since
it was fucking about overthrowing HITLER, am I right or am I right? But the funny part was that
there was a seat next to me, no one sat there and I was just gonna play it off like " oh Im saving this seat"
so that no smelly old fart would sit next to me like me & yanyans always do. But luckily noone sat next
to me, haha suckers. But whatevs!

David FUCKING chea, I hate you for waking me up this morning <3
Alryte, So cuzzo Ambereezy coming back today from the Yay areeea.
Thank God! Okay, well Im off to go shower, cos im dirty ;)
love ya'lllll !

xoxo,

ayobee

.. "The hurtful truths"

Okay so today, let me just tell you how overwhelmed beyond words I am.

&My right hand thought this was a perfect "blogspot moment"so here I go writing

about my wonderful day *sarcasm used. This is dedicated to that one person.

For you to say something like that not even to me yourself

but to find out because

someone that actually cares about me told me? Wow, you know ive

talked my peace but I would never think to say something like you did. & fuck, it hurt so much, like a bullet

running through my heart, cos why? I cared for you, I really tried making efforts to keep our

"friendship" but obviously you left my life for a reason and I left yours for the better, like you said.

I'm not gonna put this

on blast & point you out because its not worth it and I'm not

that type of person. But let me tell you, that yes I have gave up on you

..I tried & all of my efforts are better to be used on people that

are positive vibes in my life. Its still crazy how, those people that I havent been through so much with

feels like Ive known them forever& their respect for me and my feelings are so much better

than the "friends" you think that are there for you.

I cried alot today, and damn it hit me hard. Hard enough it made my wife cry when I told

her what "that person" had said.

Right hand Chick, your friendship means the world to me and we've

been through SO MUCH and you know what we found out today changes everything

but through thick & thin; were still rollin' til the day we have babies.

Its already down to only a few t r u e f r i e n d s and mos def I know who they are.

I'm really thankful, for my Tripod and 3Mbabys<3>

..Somethings die, somethings stay the same

&alyssa, our friendship will never die.

I never thought we'd be so close, but things change for a reason and I'm happy they did.

I love you girls with all my heart, & through whatever I love you guys.

xoxo,

ayobee™

..Lyrical Soul

Alryte, so in this blog of today December 2nd, 2008.
I feel that I should let you guys meet the poetic/lyrical side of who I am.
But before that I would like to tell you the simple highlights of today :
+ Chem Class = Pad on the window
+ Text messages (:
+ Islands with the right hand<3
+ Plans for Cuzzo Ambereezys Bday
& hmm, early winter formal dress shopping ideas? Oh me & my date will
look absolutely show'stoppin ;] pwuaha. it means alot to me; & I hope he knows that.

Okay, well thats pretty much what happened at school. Oh and one last thing, I love my
honeybunches/ride or die/grand daughter/ muchox3
I'm always gonna be here for you boo.

so here it goes, leave me with what you think of my poflow-e-try.

my lyrical outreach

" .. Wanna meetcha baybee with the fitted cap, shawty wants to holla back, but how can I git at that if you trynna

stay away from the fall, of it all. Her hands held out ready to catch if you fall. Silent but deadly with your gas mask on

scared of it all. And the ugly scent of fear on her chest, when you caress her, bless her with your presence. But she

knows on her mind, on her brain, that she needs you, wants you & she do her, but you do you. What boo? Do you

want it? Lay it out, on the paper, no this aint no test or statement that you need to prove to her but you should. Show

her, you want her, need her. She loves you? thats too early, but your like huh, it seems all blurry. Its cliche when they

say, that you should get to know him more but hey, they dont know the feelings inside, when you try and hide that

you get butterflies when you see him, you smile, and he sees you but what does he do? Act like she isnt there, not

visible, see through. Yeah you, I see through, y-o-u. So now its you,on her brain, your just the same type of lame that

she wanted to stay away from, but yet your magnetic, got her stuck to you like glue. Now she knows that she should

leave, but no no she's happy by you, but little does she know, she is being deceived. By the lies and all the gains that

you receive, so much greed, puff puff pass, shes high off of this joint nah, no weed just life its crazy. I call you baby

but it is not valuable to the fact that you act like a child, not knowing where to go, who to run to. Your lost, and yet

she's still there, at the end of the light, you might realize that you should take her hand, be the man, that she knows

you could be, and maybe after all the lies that you have verbally spoken to her, she'll forgive you, cos her heart is with

you. As one, one whole she takes a deep breath, you console, her. Love her, trust her, you finally open those eyes,

her love is now magnified, so you see clearly now that maybe she, can be the one for you, that will love you, for who..

you are. Look around you next time when you feel so alone, dont dwell on the past because it'll haunt your soul,

eating at your very memories that put you down, down yes he/ or she will be,and yes she will do whatever she can to

prove to you, that she will not leave you. but hey, there is no gain without any pains that you and her will endure

through, just keep that head up, and keep that love high because that bond once its gone,you will no longer hear that

song, that her heart plays when you say I love you to her, and when you tell her that you love her make sure it runs

deep through your veins not just any word, not just any phrase but a meaning that goes beyond this page. Take

chances, love life, and progress to be the best of the best. ©

xoxo,


ayobee™

.."Ends come so soon"

First off; Happy thanksgiving everyone<3

& Mos def; Im thankful for those who've impacted my life good & bad; yes the bad also because without them I wouldnt have become who I am today; yes I am very blesssed.

Yeah; I bet your all wondering why I'm writing a blog on Thanksgiving, when I'm suppose to be being a fatass with my faaam. Okay well; My thanksgiving dinner = Mcdonalds @ the Airport. Haha ! How ghetto? I misss my momm already :[ Kawaawa. Okay, Stopped by the family friends house; chilled with coussin michael&mammy real quick then sang a song; then dipped with my bro&his gf. Now I'm stuck at home.

& Yes; Guess what? Tomorrow's BLACK FRIDAY ! Whoot. Im pretty excited; "ballin with a budget" haha.

Stupid girls and their insecurities too. That got me super heated this morning & last night. Jeeeze. Whatevers. Hmm; Okay so my previous blog; yeah scratch all of that .. Surprise? .."ends come so soon" Not really a surprise.

Yeah; My "Babycakes" we were just too different to be together. And maybe his ass needs a girl that can cater to ALL his needs; and nah I aint someones bitch; so f/ck that. He loss a great thang =] Whatevs. Kay enough of that. Just brush it off the shoulders, get up and try all over again.

Thats one thing I've learned even after all the mistakes Ive committed.. that nothings wrong with taking risks; because when/if you get hurt your growing stronger. Do what you need to do for yourself; and who cares about the rest. you know?

"FUCK IT" nuff said.

xoxo;

ayobee™

"..For my babycakes"

Okay, so I'm back today and updating you guys with what happened today& yesterday. So first off lets talk about yesterday. Which was the 19th of November my babycakes birthday and wow; talk aboutta mission. Well first off my

twinster jen was suppose to take me to santa clarita to go see my babycakes for his bday but that shit got all changed so I had to ask my dirtyboy to take me, & luckily he was nice enough to take us. & I love him forever and always for it. Well, okay so he picked us up after school, headed to porto's to buy balloons& his cake. Oh man, that

cake I didnt get a bite of it :[ even if it was my favorite cake(triple chocolate mousse cake) yum. It was pretty embarassing because I was going to use my debit atm card right? & it says, DECLINED. Im like wtfeeezy ! well

whatevers I still got everything. But Okay then after we got onto the freeway, it was pretty much traffic? well, not so much but it was. Oh boy, & when we got closer and closer to Justins house my heart started beatin hella fast -,- So,

yeah we got there, Justin came out & helped me with everything I got my babycakes. & When I saw him, I was super happy(((: I mean, finally I get to see him :/ and yes, he loved everything I got him [= totally beats anybody's birthday

mos def<3>

orgasm much? But anywaysss, we didnt stay long. We didnt talk all so much, I guess cos' it was really akward& you know' me Im shy at first you knowww ' :[ OH ! & did I tell you he's super tall? Hah, I felt super short when he hugged

me -,- sick with it. haha but its okay baby, I guess I gotta get some heels so I can reach you up there. LMAO. Okay, anyways. Thats pretty much, that mission. & Mos def, Id do it for him all over again. 'Im stickin to him like glue, even tho' sometimes it drives me crazy thinkin bout some things you do."

xoxo,

ayobee™

.."Updates Updates Updates((:"

Okay, So I've been super busy with this overwhelming life of mine & finally I have time to update you guys on what has happen in the past 4 1/2 day(s). Alryte lets start off with friday of last week, which was the 14th of November when

I was suppose to kick it with my babycakes but that ended up not happening because he had things to deal with. Which sucks because I really wanted to kick it with him. But anyways, I ended up watching "Quantum of Solace" 007 which was a pretty intense action movie if your into those James bond movies and what not.

But I was super tired and idk if it was me or the movie that was making me fall asleep. I was coughing like the whole movie -_____- this f/cking cough has not gone away yet, and its pissing me off >: and nyquil does not work on my

body no more.

Oh & I was suppose to go with Jawsh ; but his ass couldn't come out since the movie was at 9 -____- So as usual I third wheeled it with my brother& his girlfriend(: But It was still fun free movie.

Now, Saturday morning. That was pretty fun actually, I slept super late b/coz I watched that movie and I had to wake up super early cos there was no food at home& my brother was gonna go buy me some chowking :] yum. haaa

So then, we got sh/t for the bbq we was going to have that night & we went to Ralphs to buy some alcohol; cheese;& all this other sh/t. But one thing I wanna point out was when I went to Ralphs there was the most beautifulest thing there = "paper or plastic?" *insider.

Then I had to go with my brother to the car wash; then went home & pretty much chilled til I got ready for Krista'Kae's puh puh party(; Now that was pretty fun hehe; all the ladies looked so cuutesyyy :)

So, me & yanyans shared a gift for krista; it was the cutest/funniest card ever .."What kind of card is this? BIG! How big is this birthday?"Big! ha! Funnny.

Now,I wasnt there for long which sucked bootay because everyone was having fun but I had that Bbq at my house. & Oh boy, that night was so effing crazy. Lets just put it as this 35 % of Alcohol + Bacardi + Smirnoff = Bad! Right yanyans? Yeah, she came over and slept over too.

But her weaksauce ass didnt wanna drink much, & I had to drink it cos my brother was buggin realtalk! Oh & Jawsh came to kick it finally! (: Oh & P.s he is sucha bad liar " ..the traffic is bumper to bumper" roflmao nice one.

I was pretty much gone well, not that GONE but I was pretty fucked & I was like calling almost everyone in my phone book and at the time it wasnt the best day b/c of crap with the babycakes.

But I came to a conclusion that night & it was that; I like him. I really do. & I dont give a fuck about whatever everyone is trynna tell me. & If this shit goes down the drain like all the other failures in my life. Ima brush it off & try again.

Its life, thats what were suppose to do. Take chances, live freely,& remember that with every mistake we grow as a person.

Sunday = Chill day, took yanyan to work. Returned things @ Macy's. Bought my new queen-sized mattress (:

Monday highlite was when I spoke to my babygirl,&potna at lunchtime. Talk about deep-talks. "Time is just a cliche" & Honestly, you can always learn even when your with someone because what is left to learn when you talk to someone for so long? *Think about that.

Because we did, & you know what. Its true. If in your heart you feel its right then you might as well take a chance because you got nothing to lose. You should do what you gotta do; do you & if that person does you wrong, thats on him.

I believe trust is very hard to obtain especially because its hard to trust not knowing whether or not youre going to get hurt in the end. But from what Ive learned is that, every person in my life that has effected me good/bad has made me who I am today.

I know that I'm ready for a relationship& I know that I could be the greatest girlfriend and I'm ready to show him that I'm down. But sometimes I wish he gave me more reassurance, I mean thats all us girls ask for right? Reassurance.

Hmm, well each day keeps getting better & he keeps telling me "dont doubt him, dont doubt him" and thats what I'm going to do. I needa relax, and be calm. I'm excited tho' for this, for us. & With my main girls right by my side; I'm ready to face whatever is to be thrown at me.

Well, tmrw makes me anxious because its his 18th birthday tmrw. & I'm gonna go surprise him well not really because he knows but he doesnt know what I made/got him. Well, okay I think thats pretty updated for now. If anything I'll add more laters <3

xoxo,

ayobee™

.. "Predicaments?"

Day number 3, on this whole situation I've been mad stressin over. Realtalk. Ha, seriously can I just jump offa bridge?Or just put me ina stray jacket. Lmao, I know I sound like a crazy bitch. ha

Well, anyways. Another day, & talk about being super tired. But it was nice having my usual cup of starbucks

[caramel macchiato ] in the morning, poor me no bagels :[[ gay right?

Its also nice b/coz you get little text msgs from a certain some (: ha, its funny how that works when you get a text msg from someone, right jessica? she knows wsup. ha! so i was bumpin a lot of songs mainly; What's a Man to do,

mp3. Happily Ever After x3 baby cakes myspace song.

So, today was pretty fun.My Honeybuns/Jessicakes thought I was an angel this morning SIKE! & My baby Nicole told me her little secret, which was like an " AWW MOMENT" *hand motion hahah jessica .. lolsss!

We had a fire drill this morning, and Dr. De O' Campo got us lost and crap lols. Shes a little physco but she makes me laugh. Hmm, I was pretty occupied with marking the days til

Christmas aha, yes I'm anxious can you tell? History class, hah' oh boy. Plucking eyebrows, mascara uses, & f/cking "SA-BA-TOGE" and YES ! I am saying it right =P ha! Omgawd, Krischanana you are sucha bad liar. hahahah! Super funny. & No I promise I'm not a stalker, I just don't like being played around with yaaadigggg.

lols k, Math class =

stinks like usual. And my teacher never listens to me -___________- growl. But uhm, Mrs. Shaffers class was pretty hilarious. Rossy and her little addictions *ahem. Alyssa .. "Hello, you have reached office of S&S.."

ROFLMAO.&

Spanish, was probably the most interesting because Mr. Calderoniiiiiie was our sub today, haha " NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE!" ahahah, jeeeze. stupid ass detention slips -___________- well, thats my school day.Riding home .. ha'

Pretty much ktfo in the car, and my mom left me in the car when we got home so I slept for like 2 hours? ha.

I'm pretty anxious for tmrw, I'm hoping I'll figure everything out tomorrow about everything.

But I can honestly say, .. im digggin youuuu b(: nuff said,x33

xoxo,

ayobee™

"..A New Day"

Yay! Happy Birthday to my lowkey freak **Krista Kae(: !!
Hah, so talk about super tiring day today or wtfuck! I'm done sleeping all late, serio! hah

So, today T.O.M wasn't "that" bad but I was still pretty moody haha! & Me and Yanika went at it during lunch time about how I dont think its worth eating a Red Robins, even though I use to work there.

I mean honestly, yeah good food and stuff. But for a place that looks so "cheap" its so expensive. yaaadigg? ha, I'd rather go to Cheesecake Factory(: yum!

I love my baby,nicole.&my honeybuns,potna'rideordie; & moreee x384732094832. Her and I omg, so were like "compatible"haha 21 year olds much? hah! *INSIDE JOKE.

Okay enough of that, I was pretty bitchy today and uhm, as of right now, im switching what i wrote becoz my emotions are a bit jumpy right now, and they are very lost and confused. I promise in the next blog i'll update.

Okay, My homegirl Krischanananana(: calls me BEOOOOOO now too. hah neww name or what?
Fuck my choir, loud enough to be our own choir right rhc? lmaoooo! shoot.

Okay, TWILIGHT? hmm, maybe. I don't know.

xoxo,

ayobee™

"Its Boys Like Y-o-u.." (Ventilation)

God,shit,fuck dude. I hate you T.O.M for coming during this time. I just wanna laugh everything off just because it's funny seeing me so angry and crazy. Hah, So just f/ck it?



Mannnn, I mean seriously why can't i just drop it? and like, just "move forward?"I mean I've put it aside for how many months? I can do it, right? right? But no my right hand chick says .. that I should "let things roll out" but why!? yhennoe.


Like does it really matter? Not really, becoz' I am on this new leaf and I shouldn't Give A Fuck. I dont know I just need a vacation to the city, yes my home away from home, new york(:<3333







okay, enough of that..fucking, right hand chick of mine -_____________- you are so gay. But I love you since, you read my first blog<3333>

Okay, so I'm super tired but somethings still holding me back from falling asleep! >: Its driving me insane. its just "terrible" lmaooooo.

Why cant you understand that, maybe just maybe I'm that girl for you. You know the one thats seen the good/bad/&the ugly yaaadigg? That maybe, as much as you try to find me my f/cking "prince charming",

as much as you try to tell me that there are other "fishes in the sea" I dont want no other god damn other fish, I want YOU, and you know why?

Becoz' your special to me, I've been in denial for too long, and I guess I finally realized whats real, and whats not. the end.

xoxo,

ayobee™

"Maybe,Maybe Not?"

Okay, so this is my first blog. First let me tell you about my day, so today is veterans day and I had school today because we had the day off yesterday but its was okay since we got off at 1:20.

Mmm, so the whole day, I was pretty tired. Lets just say I couldnt sleep last night because things were on my mind. I don't put my life on blast here, but all I can say is that .. "islyjpp" enough said.

Oh, and for all you chocolate lovers out there like myself, I think you should have a bite of the chocolate devotion at Coldstone's with the Ghirardelli chocolate(: yummy for the tummy.

Oh, and let me give you advice on which hotspot online you should shop on, karmaloop.com

they have the hottest brands for girls and guys + SALES SALES SALES :] ha! So, that little adam bomb that i love to post all over.. isn't he just the cutest?

Give me stickers of that adam bomb & I'll love you forever and a day. Okay so before I end this blog for today, "food for thought" ; how does Vixxxen Co. sound? opinions please,&thanks<3!

xoxo,

ayobee™